Strange Normal
by Hotchocolate345
Summary: Stan's in a straind relatonship and won't listen to reason. When his best friends give up and leave he finds something else to be angry about, and takes great lengths to get rid of it. I suck at summaries please read! Warning! strong language and many jew jokes! some boy on boy cuteness! dont like dont read :) R
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

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"Stan can't you see she's just stringing you along?!" Kyle yelled at his best friend.

"Yea dude, she's cheated on you, what? Like nine times?" Kenny stated.

"No, Wendy would never do that!" The broken-hearted Stan screamed.

"Stan, she's even cheated on you with me in fourth grade. Wendy clearly likes to fuck around." Cartman said from beside of Kenny.

The four best friends were standing on the lawn of the Marsh family. Trying to convince Stan that his recently ex-girlfirend, Wendy, doesn't love him as much as he thinks she does.

"I hate to say this but I agree with Cartman, she doesn't love you man." Kyle said.

"Whatever, fuck you guys, you don't know Wendy and you clearly don't Know me." Stan said defensively as he turned, teary eyed, towards his house.

Kyle, being his super best friend, made a move to try to comfort him, but Cartman held onto his shoulder looking down and nodding no. "Let the asshole deal with this himself, he'll get over it," Kyle nodded and turned away, not bothering to shake off the hand. He needed that comfort right now, since the only other person who would do that is pissed at him and walking away.

You'd think that since Stan and Wendy have been together for what seems forever he'd have noticed that she's cheated on him and its not the first time they've broken up over her cheating, or saying they're taking things too fast.  
Stan watched as his three best friends walked away, waiting for him to calm the fuck down and see what's in front of him, it may take a while but their pretty patient. But he couldn't get the image of his best friend and the fat ass ganging up on him, telling him lies, it was even worse that he was touching his best friend _the same way he would._ It was an understatement to say that Stan was pissed, he was well beyond that point to where he wasn't starring daggers at Eric but heat seeking lasers that would kill that asshole in a second if it could.

Kyle never meant to be that rude to Stan but he wasn't listening to reason and was acting stupid, well more so than usual. He was glad that when ever him and Stan were in a fight or weren't talking that Cartman was always there to comfort him and back him up in any way that "didn't cramp his style" as he put it. _Now that I think about it, every time Stan isn't there or I get angry and pissed at him or the other way around, Cartman gets more human like around me. He even acts like my friend. At least until I make up with Stan. _Kyle thought as they walked towards his house, its been a long day of arguing with Stan and that always leaves him angry and tired. _After that he gets all pissy like a cat in heat and gets even more vulgare words to spew at me. especially me._  
"Hey Cartman?" Kyle asked. By now Eric's hand was by his side, swinging slowly as he walked alongside the redhead.  
"What's up, Jew?"  
"Why are you always acting as my friend when Stan and I are in the middle of a fight?" Kyle asked outright.  
"Its not like I'd side with a hippie dude. I hate them more than I do Jews." Eric stated as if he should already know this.  
Kyle chuckled lightly to himself remembering when he saved the town from a horde of Hippies all so he could play with a Tanka Truck and rub it in his face. "Hippies are probably easier to get rid of." Kyle said laughing at his own joke.  
Eric stopped walking completely by now. "Wh-what?" Kyle, noticing that he had stopped walking, followed suit and turned to veiw Eric. Anyone walking by would think he was frowning but Kyle knew better.  
"What?"  
"You made a Jew joke, just now, and you...laughed at it." He said with a smirk plastered on his face.  
"No I didn't, you miss heard me." Kyle said with a pink blush of anger/embarrassment on his face.  
_"Hippies are probably easier to get rid of." _Eric said mimicking Kyle tenner voice. "Pretty amatuer joke if you ask me." He said walking past an awe-stricken, angry, Kyle.  
"It was funnier than all of your jokes combined, lard ass."  
"Do NOT go there Broflovski." Eric had a point of getting more pissed when people mentioned his old "nick names". He had a right to this time 'round since he's gradually lost some weight over the years.

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**Hey! please tell me if you like it! Id love to know!**

**I'm pretty happy with this one so i'd like to know if i should continue or not.**

**-HotChocolate345**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_How can you just sit here? Watching as your best friend walks away being all buddy buddy with someone other than yourself, the one he hates the most in the world._ A familiar voice inside of Stan's head stated as he watched the empty street. _You can't do Anything! You're a stupid lovesick puppy who's too blinded by a petty love intrest to see that Kyle's to good for you._

"No he's not. Why don't you just shut up?" Stan whispered walking away from the window.

_Because you know its true, Stanley. You don't deserve a friend like him. _

"I do too." Stan said in protest.

_Always forgiving you idiotic tendences and constant hippieing. _The voice continued, sounding more and more amused with himself.

"You sound like Cartman." Stan stated in disgust.

_Only because you think he deserves Kyle as friend, no you know its tr-_

"Don't you dare say it, whoever you are." Stan said, his voice gradually getting louder.

_Oh come now dear Stanley, don't get too discouraged, Kyle figured this out months-no-years before I told you these truths. Kyle's real super best friend-_

"No!"

_the one who is always there to save him instead of running away-_

"No! Its not true!" Stan screamed in anguish.

_the one who saved his life coumtless times._

"No! No!...No...nonono..." By now Stan was kneeling on his bedroom floor covering his face with his hands and slow burning tear burned through his eyes, sliding down his cheecks and onto the floor.

_You always knew it was really Eric, but you never wanted to admit to this fact. Because of this you're all alone crying like a baby and talking to youreself, just like when I was here last time and you went goth, emo. Remember Stan, how angry and PISSED Kyle was at you after that fiasco? You remember don't you?_

*Sniff* "Ye-yea, what? Are going to throw me into that pit of blackness and sorrow again you asshole?!" Stan screamed through tears of anger and sadness.

_Oh no Stanley, much, __**much**__, worse than that._

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**Hope you like this one, I poured all my hate for Stanley into this chapter with some really depressing parts**

**I know youre probably all like "WHERE'S KYMAN!" but don't worry it'll come in due time if you're patient and wait. IT WILL COME I TELL YOU!**

**please R&R and don't forget to favoutrite!**

**if you have any suggestions for later chapters i'll either ue it in this or edit it to my likeing, but i will use it! please do that! i run out of ideas pretty fast! :P**

**-HotChocolate345**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/n Okay...you're all probably ubber pissed I didn't update sooner, I'm sorry I'm super lazy and get writers block constantly. For those of you who reviewed are awesome those who are reading this chapter you all rock those who understand my postion with being lazy thank you :) and all of you other people thank you for reading here's-**

**Chapter 3**

''Jew! Stop killing me! Ah mean it!'' Eric Cartman screamed after the probably 30th time Kyle killed him while playing Super Smash Bros.

''But its the point of the game to kill you, Fat ass.''Kyle Broflovski stated back to him.

Cartman was Mario, Kyle was Pikachu. All Kyle had to do was shoot lightning and Cartman would be off the map in seconds. Cartman was getting fed up with this, he should be better since this is his game. Cartman started swearing in anger and Kyle sat next to him silently with a small smirk on his face.

''Calm your tits fat boy, its just a game.'' Kyle stated, ''How about I let you win next game.'' Kyle said as an after thought just to mess with the larger boys pride.

''Ay! Ah can win on my own you little ass wipe.'' Cartman yelled choosing the next arena.  
...

Cartman lost five more times after that.

"Are you using your Jew magic on mah game again, Kahl?" Cartman asked after throwing his controller at the TV screen.

"No fatass, you just suck at playing your own games, that's all." Kyle said turning to smile incredulously at the larger of the two.

"Ah do not!"

"You call losing over a bazillion times being awesome at games, I think not." Kyle said turning to play one player whilst Cartman glares. "Sometimes I ask myself why I still hang out with you." Kyle mumbled to himself.

"Same here Jew." ...

"Fahking cylinder dudes!" Cartman screamed as Kyle nearly beat the second to last level. "Come on Kahl! You can't lose now!"

"Damn it Cartman! Shutup before I lose because of your constant backseat driving!"

"Ah'm just trying tah help, Kahl, don't get bitchy on me- OH MAH GOD!" Cartman screeched.

Kyle quickly pause the game before turning to punch Eric in the cheek, causing him to yell. Kyle then unpaused the game before resuming his play.

"Fucking Jew," Cartman mumbled "your character is going to die now without my help,"

"Keep telling yourself that," Kyle said beating the game within a thirty second radius. "But you thought wrong." He said with a sly grin.

Cartman glared in response before grabbing the controler and yelling, "MY TURN !"  
He couldn't make it past the horde of Yoshi's and gave up.

For the past week this has been going on, ever since Stan had his emotional break down Kyle and Eric (sometimes Kenny) have been hanging out at each other's houses. No ones talked to Stan during this time seeing how pissed of he's been looking. They're all scared he might kill them or something.

"GIVE IT BACK YOU ASS HOLE!" Kyle yelled trying to pry the controller out of the larger boy's hands.

"No way Jew, Ah bought this shit with my own money, hands...OFF!" Eric said yanking the controller towards himself. They went on like this for a few more minutes before Kyle let go throwing Eric back into the couch cushions. "Fuck! You'll get it you Jew!"

With that Kyle lept from the couch and stated "Fuck that shit." Running towards the bathroom before getting toppled by the brunette. "FUCK!" He yelled before hitting the floor.

Eric, still on top rolled him over and restrained his arms. "You gonna apologize Kahl?" Eric said with a smirk.

"And why should I?" Kyle said defiantly. His nose was bleeding from the intact with the floor and felt as if he were hit with a freight train. Guess Eric really was on the football team.

Eric was slightly blushing from the sight before him but played it of as anger.

Arguing with Kyle always had that stupid side effect on him. He meant what he said back in fifth grade, of course his acting skills were to perfect for the Jew to see them as real. And now seeing as he had Kyle under him (completely vulnerable) he was inclined to kiss him but of course that would ruin everything so he merely stayed in the position a second longer before letting go, getting off of the red head, and walking towards the stairs.

"The fuck was that, Cartman?!" Kyle yelled following him downstairs.  
Kyle was in complete shock (mostly from the fall) *was he about to...never mind, it was probably nothing.* Kyle thought trying not to look to much into the awkward silence from when Cartman was on tip of him. The mere thought made him blush.

"It was nothing, lets just finish the stupid game." Cartman murmured as he sat on the sofa, not liking at the other.

Kyle stood in front of him. "It wasn't nothing, tell me or I swear to God," Cartman turned fast, grabbing him by his shirt collar and stared strait into his pupils.

"Don't make me tell you Kyle, just see it as an awkward moment and leave it at that." Kyle was more than just surprised by Eric's sudden request.

The sudden urge to kiss Kyle rose once again, he loosened his grip and turned away.  
"Why can't you tell me?"

"Because if I do I'll lose you, and I don't know if I can handle that."


End file.
